


Kitties in the Morgue

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: BDSM, Crac fic, Crack, Cunnilingus, F/F, Mild BDSM, Oral Sex, Porn, Sex, Smut, Whipping, morgue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-12
Updated: 2012-07-12
Packaged: 2017-11-09 19:54:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We got a prompt asking for a non-specific Molly/Irene fic. So then we accidentally crack porn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kitties in the Morgue

**Author's Note:**

> Written by Shelby and Summer
> 
>  
> 
> We take crack requests/prompts! You can submit one to us at: consultingcrackaddicts.tumblr.com/ask  
> We'll post it on the blog and here on Ao3. :]

Molly was sat in the morgue, doing some autopsy kind fo stuff. She was humming to herslef “I’ve got a lovely bunch of cocnutes, diddly deee.”  
Then the door went BANGED and in came Irene Andler.  
“Wtf!” squeeked Molly, spinning aorund to see the dominiatic infront off her.  
“o hello molly” iern sayed.  
“i came in to get that body tht looks liek me.”  
“U mean the one I just cut open.?” Sayed Molly.  
“yep” sayed Irn.  
“Okay, let me sow it up for you okay.”  
“no u should leve it n then it’ll look like an axsident or s/t caus shelreck &jern can’t kno i’m still aliv &stuff.”  
“o” moly sed. “ok.” she went to role the body to the midel of the room to show irn &unzippd the bag it was in. “u sure this is belivabel?”  
The body in question was fucked up looking an Irene prmptly vomited down her pretty dress.  
“Aw shit.” she said, “I’ll have to get this in the wash.” So she took her dress of and chuecked it in the sick. molly was stil l by the body looking liek “:O” and din’t know what to do.  
“wat, have you never seen a lady before?” said riene seducitbly, and Molly was like  
“Nop.” and then was cry.  
Irene went obetr to her and then was like “I’ll be ur lady if u want” and then coaxed her our of her lab coat.  
irene Layded the labcoat down on the cold lineloenm and then put molly on top of it. Then put herself on top of molly. They made out for like five houres amongst the decomposing bodies. (which were totez romantic, the smell rlly set da mood and stuff).  
“um irne i think shrkeloc left his riding crop in da mortuar somewhere ovr thaar~” she pawsed. “if ur into that kinda thing cause idfk.”  
Irnee’s eyes lit up liek a crack addicts pipe. (haaah, i see what you did there)  
“Are you 4 reel?” She aksed.  
“Yup” sed Mloly. “I tink it’s over by the eblaming fluids.”  
So Irend scampred off on all fours to find the riding crop. irne pickd up shoerlick’s wip n put it between her teeth before rolling back across the floor to moley  
“Get nekkid and on urs kneez” she said sweetly to the Mrgoue attending.

When Mlolly was in positiong, irney took the whip to her butt. Lomyl was expeshilly turned on b/c she’s seen shrelcko use the whip on the corpses so many times. But ths time she knowed wat it werent’ sherlcok b/c Iren was making sexy lady sounds what shrelock wouldn’t make.  
inbetween the spankings, Irnee would run a finger or two up and down Molly’s lady clam, while saying naughty things too her (things too dirty to write here, omg).  
mully closed her eyes for a sec &imagined breifly that it was shrkelj (close enough) holding the wip n she yelled his name. irene stoped hitting her n was like “wtf bitch. i’m not sherkloc. >:o”  
Nd so Molly was like “Omfg god, sorry” and den Irene Flipped her shit.  
She was straight up just like “Gurl, I’ll make foyu forget he ever edxisted!!” all pouty and stuff. She whacked molloly a few more time and den made he roll over. She looked at molly realy sloe in then face akll tintidmating likeand den she wne t and slurped all down Mylo’s body and on her boobs and stuff (ahahaa). Wehen Ifren got own to the secret garden of desire, she foudn someone had watered it recently (if u kno wat i men ;]) nd den she buried her nose in da juicy kitty before her, like she’s neve rhad oen in a thousand years of something idk.

milly put her fingrs in irns hare n Irene flipped out b/c her hair is perf, so she was like “get da fuq off” and so Molly touched hslef instead (on the boobes agen hahaha).  
“ty” ierne sed n went bak 2 playing wit the kitty cat n moly was liek “ur welcome” all moany and stuff b/c she hadn’t been eated out in ever.  
irened made quik work of her and Moly was soon caming all over the place like “oh EYAH!” And then Irnd was like “seeing as you’re not a client, it’s my turn.” so she pushed Moylly odown and saddled her face, rideing it like one of those mechanical bulls you see in places sometimrs.  
“mm yeah!” she went, touching herslef on her rosy pink boobie bits. Molly didn’t say much b/c her face was full of vulva rigtnt now. she just maed weird noisees that kinda sounded like an elephant being strangled or s/t. ienre looked down like wat r u doing? but she didn’t say anything cause mloluy was actualy kinda good at this.  
Irne went for it, like it was the end of a story and she was riding off into the sunset. The figurative horizon was where irene reached when she came with a cry all over Molly’s face. it was great.

Then they layd on the floor of the more, cuddling and touching each others butts (and boobies, heehehehe) until Miollyoly’s phone sounded. She checked it and was like  
“Aw shit, it’s shrelck. He’s going to be her soon.” So then irne grabbed her puek cover dress and the fucked up dead body and fucked off. “remeber moly, u don’t tel any1 not evn shurleck. or els.”  
molly nodded nand put all her clothes back on and tried to hide any evidence that she’s just had a lesbian tryst in da middle of da St. Farts Morgue. Shrelcok would be able to tell, but hopefully he just thought she’sb ebeen touching herself or whatever.  
But then!  
Mycroft walked in and was like “I kno what you did.”  
And then Molly goes “o.” and den Mycroft laughed and says “I got it on tape for u. You go gurl, get dat kitty!” nd den he leaved agen.  
Milly laughed to herself in da morgue.  
“Hah hah hah” she said.

~The End~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Info about requests/prompts can be found in the notes at the top.


End file.
